Sacrifices+and+Starbucks+Runs

Sacrifices and Starbucks Runs  Audio-Cast

media type="file" key="Sacrificesandstarucksruns.mp3" width="240" height="20" align="center" = Introduction =

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What do you get when you combine God's power, Starbucks runs, and an insane sacrifice? One really irritated and frankly petrified Abraham. Providing the pre-story to  Abrahams sacrifice of his son Isaac, "Sacrifices and Starbucks Runs" demonstrates how even the most rebellious of us will finish the task at hand when their life is on the line. As Abraham grows from his reluctant being to a more loyal and obediant person due to the fear of God's consequences, he finds himself inches from slaying his own son! ======

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The "Conversations That Never Happened" Project hones the skill of characterization by analyzing characters from Genesis and using their traits to portray the character's personalities in a dialogue that provides background on a major event in the Bible. Through this dialogue I unveil the secret behind the sacrifice of Abraham's son Isaac with modern twists in order to reveal Gods fickleness and commanding nature and Abraham's loyalty and fear. ======

 = Dialogue =

GOD : Yo. Abraham! Listen up peasant!  AB : Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. But I have things to do here bro so you better make it important and not waste my time.  GOD : Go get me a Grande Mocha Carmel Mochiato with extra whip and make it snappy.  AB : Who do you think I am dude?  GOD <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: I swear to myself Abraham, if you're not gone and heading towards Starbucks in the next five seconds, I'm going to shove a lightning bolt so far up your a <span style="color: #2127c0; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> AB <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: (interupting) Okay, okay, I'm going ... jeeze. <span style="color: #2bb12e; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> GOD <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: Oh, wait. Add a muffin to that. And it better be right or I will rain //<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">hell //<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> on you <span style="color: #2127c0; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> AB <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: (Walking away) (under his breath) Psh, this freaking loser thinks he can control me. Better think again. I've got bidness to attend to. I'm going home, get my ramen on, sit on the couch, <span style="color: #2bb12e; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> GOD <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: (loud booming noise) Not a smart choice Abraham. (bleating) <span style="color: #2bb12e; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> GOD <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: (Laughing Hard) Yeah that’s right! Hope you liked having sheep! Look at them, sitting there all slaughtered and mangled--- <span style="color: #2127c0; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> AB <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: Oh my God! What the hell man?! <span style="color: #2bb12e; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> GOD <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: Don't use my name in vain! And its your fault for not succumbing to my will little man. Lets try this again. <span style="color: #2bb12e; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> GOD <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: I need you to get me tickets to the Justin Beiber concert. <span style="color: #2127c0; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> AB <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: Psh Justin Beiber. Who are you a 12 year old girl with no taste in music? <span style="color: #2bb12e; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> GOD <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: (booming voice) SHUT UP! Fine, I change my mind. Make it Usher. <span style="color: #2127c0; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> AB <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: I ain’t doin’ that! I have to go clean up the freaking buckets of sheep blood you just made on my pasture. It looks like a red slip and slide you--- <span style="color: #2bb12e; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> GOD <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: (impatiently) (taps fingers) One... Two... Three... <span style="color: #2127c0; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> AB <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: Alrighty… Gone! You know what! I might even run there! (little timid) Just don't smite me, or something. <span style="color: #2bb12e; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> GOD <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: Great, someone who obeys me for once.... <span style="color: #2127c0; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> AB <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: (doo doo doo) Yes! I found a dollar in my pocket! I'm going to buy an ice cold Fanta. Psh who cares about God and his whole chores thing. I mean who does that bro think I am? (Vending Machine Sounds) (Cracks soda and Sips)

(sound of dropping a can) (boom) (dragon ball z sound bite) <span style="color: #2127c0; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> AB <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: Dear God, what was that! <span style="color: #2bb12e; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> GOD <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: That would be your house, on fire, with your pasture. I told you there would be consequences, but nooo, don't listen to God your ruler and Lord. <span style="color: #2127c0; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> AB <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: My house! Damn it! I sold my kidney for that baby! You monster! <span style="color: #2bb12e; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> GOD <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: I could care less...You get one more chance here Abraham. Take your cousin, no wait, your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go into the mountains and sacrifice that sucker to me. Hup to. Lets go. <span style="color: #2127c0; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> AB <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: (sarcastically)Yes anything for you my Lord. <span style="color: #2127c0; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> AB <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: (In head) Hah! I'm just gonna go up there fake the whole thing. Make God happy, and then head back in time for Happy Hour. <span style="color: #2bb12e; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> GOD <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: Oh and Abraham. <span style="color: #2127c0; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> AB <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: Yes God <span style="color: #2bb12e; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> GOD <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: If you do not sacrifice your son, you will die instead....

(gasp) (dun dun dun)

Narrator: So Abraham, scared for his life, hauled his child Isaac up to the mountain, gaged and tied him up, and got ready to sacrifice his only son. <span style="color: #2127c0; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> AB <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: Sorry I-diz. I have to do this or our...really scary commander-in-chief... up there is gonna smite me. And we know how bad it gets when that goes down.

I: It's all good Pops. Plus, I can see you’re scared; you crapped your robe. <span style="color: #2127c0; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> AB <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: Alright enough about my bowels. (sniffle) Lets see. Chainsaw. (sniffle)Nah. Throwing star. (sniffle) Nah. Machete. (sniffle) (pause) perfect. <span style="color: #2bb12e; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> GOD <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: Someone get some popcorn. This is gonna be good. Wait, scratch the popcorn. Milk duds are way better. No wait. Raisinettes.

(suspenseful music)

Narrator: Raising the machete high above his head, Abraham closed his eyes, tensed his body, and started with all the force in him at his son Issac. <span style="color: #2bb12e; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> GOD <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: (Spitting Sound) Snap! He's so scared he is actually going do it! Wait get an angel down there and stop him!

Narrator: Right before piercing Issac's skin, Abraham's arm was stopped.

ANGEL: Hey maine! I'm one 'dem angels. What chu think you doin? <span style="color: #2127c0; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> AB <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: AH! DONT HURT ME! STOP IT! I MUST KILL HIM! IT'S MY ONLY HOPE FOR SURVIVAL! <span style="color: #2bb12e; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> GOD <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: Yo. Abraham! Dude! I didn't think you could pull it off but you did! You almost did it! Pound it dawg! <span style="color: #2127c0; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> AB <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: STOP! I MUST FOLLOW MY ORDERS! <span style="color: #2bb12e; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> GOD <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: Easy tiger. Well now you deserve a blessing, and I'll throw in a bonus of numerous offspring. How does that sound? <span style="color: #2127c0; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> AB <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: (sniffle) (stops) Wait Really? Sounds great.... just do me one favor. <span style="color: #2bb12e; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> GOD <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: What bro? <span style="color: #2127c0; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> AB <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">: Don't smite me.

(ZAP!)

= Artist Interpretations =



<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Domenico Zampieri or Domenichino, a Bolognese painter who studied under Calvaert and Carracci, was considered the "greatest upholder of Bolognese classicalism". By 1602, many deemed Domenichino as the leading Roman Painter of the Baroque Period; his oil on canvas masterpieces exceeding all expectations. Domenichino created the //Last Communion of St. Jerome,// which was later recognized as the greatest picture ever created by mankind. So besides all of his praise, Zampieri created his //Sacrifice of Isaac// (shown right), which encompasses the scene of the patriarch sacrificing his son to the Lord in a bright and cheerful mood unlike the dreary, fearful colors in Titians below.

More information on Domenichino -- The Oxford Dictionary of Art: Domenichino

<span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif;">



<span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Austrian born Tiziano Vecellio, better known as Titian, stunned the Renaissance world with his incredible paintings and was considered the greatest artist of the Venetian Schools. Titian gained all of his incredible realism skills from his mentor Giovanni Bellini. The artist focused mainly on mythological works however dabbled in Biblical art with his Pietas (The Virgin Mary holding Jesus) and their impeccably smooth oil lines. And besides his breathtaking art work, Titain was very well off in wealth and fame. Whether or not he created "The Sacrifice of Isaac" for personal gain or for the enjoyment of the art world, we may never know. However his shading and intricate details make this oil master piece truly the work of a genius.

More information on Titian -- WebMuseum Paris: <span style="color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif;"> <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">[|Titian Biography]

= Analysis =

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<span style="display: block; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: left;">Because <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">of Abraham’s constant fear of his Lord, he develops an obedience to save himself from the repercussions of God’s anger. In Titian’s painting of the scene in which Abraham stands with a dagger raised high over his son Isaac, the artist emphasizes the patriarch’s body position, specifically his tense arm, in relation to God’s angel. Abraham, naturally frightened by the wrath of his sky-dwelling, omnipotent ruler, desperately tries to hold back God’s angel because he fears that God might slay him if he do<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">es not adhere to the Lord’s elaborate scheme. The redactors of the Bible use Abraham’s fear of God in the sacrif<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">ice of Isaac <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to convey that fear in itself can cause the timid people to commit morally ambiguous acts. Because of Abraham’s extreme angst, he follows through with a grotesque plan that breaches all of his values as a father: killing his own son. In order to save himself from eminent death, Abraham must build a solid level of compliance with the Lord. During Abraham’s journey up to Moriah where he would sacrifice his son Isaac to the Lord, he “’came to a place where God had shown him, [and] Abraham built an altar’” (Gen. 22.9). The act of Abraham building this altar in Moriah symbolizes his desperateness to succumb to God’s deeds through his invariable fear. Scared that God may make him commit other insane acts, Abraham develops a loyalty to the Lord and conveys this with the building of the altar to his ruler. Submission precedes fear due to undeniable reality that one who fears the worst will undergo almost anything, even forced loyalty in order to save one’s life or family. Those who remain inside their box during times of crisis pay the consequences, this forming the basis for Abraham’s sudden loyalty to the Lord. ======

** Dialogue **
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">As Abraham realizes that his laid-back approach to God’s commands do not produce terrific results, his fear overcomes him and the patriarch actually takes his loyalty to a whole new level of obedience. When God forcefully demands that Abraham go and get him a Starbucks drink, the Shepard sarcastically replies that he will complete the task and then mutters to himself, “Psh, this freaking loser thinks he can control me … [b]etter think again” (McGee 1.9). Besides his demeaning of his lord with the use of “loser” to describe God, Abraham shows his rebellious side of not listening to the higher power. By not putting in the simple effort to complete God’s chore, Abraham’s sheep suffer the consequences. By characterizing Abraham as defiant, McGee conveys the theme that punishments exist even for petty crimes. However, after being punished several times, God’s message finally reaches Abraham’s head: complete the task or face the consequences. The trepidation of the lord’s wrath causes Abraham to develop into a timid character. When he apologizes to his son for the acts he will soon commit, he states that if he doesn’t sacrifice Isaac, “[the] really scary commander-in-chief … up there is gonna smite me” (McGee 1.37). Referring the commander-in-chief to God, McGee demonstrates again the punishment for not completing a direct order. This constant timidity for what may happen if Abraham makes a mistakes, characterizes him as a fearful person who is almost meticulous with his actions for fear of slipping-up. Finally, through his terror for the consequences of his actions, Abraham matures into such a loyal servant of the lord that he border lines on canine obedient. When the angel stops his arm from piercing his son, the patriarch screams “I MUST KILL HIM! IT”S MY ONLY HOPE FOR SURVIVAL!” (McGee 1.46). When Abraham links completing the task to survival, God realizes he has learned his lesson. His character has developed so far: from the sarcastic and witty Shepard to the loyal servant all through the use of McGee’s fabulous characterization techniques.

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<span style="display: block; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: left;">Due to God’s commanding role as ruler of the heavens, he becomes fickle and wary of the consequences of his actions. After God creates the heaven and earth and sees the wickedness of his people, the lofty ruler makes a catastrophic decision. God says to Noah forcefully that “’I [have] determined to make an end of all flesh, for the earth is filled with violence’” (Gen. 6.13). God utilizes “determined” to emphasize his final decision in ending the human race, who from his perspective, only wish commit evil. The Lord takes the initiative to step in and stop these malicious humans as their commander because their actions have become out of hand. When leaders recognize possible threat or demise, they take immediate action in order to stop the potential crumble of their work that lies below them. God merely did his job as a commander, because it was his only option: to assertively take control of his dominion. However, with the Lord’s commanding personality comes regret for the right decision. In Domenichino’s painting The Sacrifice of Isaac, the artist shows the strong father Abraham desperately trying to force the dagger into his son but an angel, also in the picture, holds him back, grasping the sword above his head. The angel’s positioning over Abraham depicts her role in relation to God, who also sits high above the world. Her hand taking back the sword, almost symbolizes God trying to take back his decision for Abraham to kill Isaac. God really expresses his fickle personality in this scene, by commanding Abraham to sacrifice his son then immediately regretting the decision and stoping the man in his act. The Lord, like many people today, luckily saw the consequences of his actions and was able to end a potentially fatal and remorseful deed. ======

Dialogue [[image:golfing_god_157555.jpg width="238" height="249" align="right"]]
Throughout his dialogue, McGee uses Gods’ demands not only to characterize the omnipotent lord as a commanding person but also to emphasize his wariness. Although God has many requests of Abraham in the text, the lord opens the conversation with Abraham’s task of getting the lord a “Grande Mocha Caramel Mochiato with extra whip” (McGee 1.4). The author decides to use such a casual drink and demand that God comes off in the beginning of the dialogue as a man with power who uses takes advantage of those under him. And this sums up God perfectly. McGee characterizes the lord as a truly authoritative figure in order to juxtapose the relaxed life style of Abraham. However, even though God’s commands are pointless and just tasks for his personal benefit, he undertakes a new more serious disposition when he commands Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. However by biting off more than he can chew, God realizes his demands fall beyond petty tasks such as completing a Starbucks run. God even states, “[Abraham’s] so scared he is actually going to do it! Wait get an angel down there and stop him!” (McGee 1.43). Realizing that Abraham has learned his lesson and will for once finish his task, God decisively stops the patriarch before he can commit his morally ambiguous act. McGee utilizes this scene where God rethinks his decision and takes action to stop his reckless plan in order to characterize God as a fickle and wary protagonist.

=Reflection=

I really enjoyed this project because it allowed me to mix pleasure with practice. I like to think creatively and given the opportunity to make a script for a scene that never occurred allowed me to let my mind go and whiz ideas around in my brain. Aside from the creative aspect of the assignment, I was able to write analytical structured paragraphs and have them corrected by my teacher, which allowed for great practice and a chance to once again learn from my mistakes.

The most difficult aspect of this project were the analytical essays themselves. Besides, who said practice is fun? Their length and need for mass amounts of brain power led to late hours sitting at my computer hoping for words to appear as if by magic. However, by reviewing my mistakes on old essays and uncovering paragraph structure notes from my packed binder, I was able to conquer this minor bump in the road and focus on other elements of the project such as aesthetics and my dialogue. My dialogue seemed very strong to me, which may be why I put off recording it until late in the process. This did not cause any triumphs for me. If I had recorded and edited, which in itself took years, the dialogue earlier, I might have been able to focus more on my paragraphs and other aspects. Overall I learned that if I set my mind to a goal I could complete it (seeing that it is very early in the morning right now and I am still prevailing). I also discovered that the more mistakes you make the better you get at something. This corresponds to my analytical writing skills and how after all this time, I am finally grasping the concepts and starting to create top quality essays.

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= Works Cited =

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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">"Domenichino." The Oxford Dictionary of Art. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 May 2010. <http://www.enotes.com/oxford-art-encyclopedia/domenichino>. =====

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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"> "Golfing God." __Toon Pool.__ 20 May 2010. <<span style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal;">www.toonpool.com/cartoons/ Golfing%20God_15755>. =====

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Pioch, Nicolas. "Titian." WebMuseum, Paris. N.p., 14 Oct. 2002. Web. 19 May <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">2010. <http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/titian/>. =====

Martin, Phillip. "Untitled". 20 May 2010. <http://www.pppst.com/bible_abraham.gif>.

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"Starbucks Cup." Tmcnet Bloggers. 19 May 2010. < http://blog.tmcnet.com/blog/tom-keating/images/starbucks_cup.jpg>. "Shaun the Sheep." __Wiids.__ 20 May 2010. <http://www.wiids.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/shaun-the-sheep-relaxed.jpg>. =====

"Untitled." __The Engineering Daily.__ 20 May 2010. <http://www.engineeringdaily.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/dictionary-300x224.jpg>.

"Untitled." __Loltheist.__ 20 May 2010. <http://loltheist.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/wanna-muffin.jpg>.