Conversations+that+Never+Happened

= Table of Contents =

@A Bowl of Soup: Jacob tricks Esau into selling his birthright for a bowl of soup.

A Different Sort of Brotherhood: Jacob confronts Esau about Esau's thoughts to kill Jacob.

A League of Their Own : Jacob and God fight after their wrestling match, which leads to a rematch as Esau makes his way towards Jacob.

A Near-Death Experience : Adam and Eve discover the weaknesses of their relationship

A New Kind of Woman: Eve confronts God about her curiosity

An Unexpected Love:Shechem comes to realize how he truly feels about Dinah after he has raped her.

Auctioning Off Impatience : Jacob's trickery over his brother Esau, proves superior.

A Walk Without: Abraham whines about his not being with God to God.

@Awkward Encounter : Joseph and Potiphar's wife discover a new relationship and some awkward moments along the way.

Band of Brothers : Jacob and Esau in their formative years, where Jacob tries to keep Esau from joining his band.

Breakdown: God orders Joseph to be silent, but at the same time warn the people that He is planning an earthquake to punish mankind for their stupidity.

Brother Battle : Cain confronts Abel about his regards from God.

Countdown : God discusses his anxieties with trusted Abraham, and acts more human than most are used to.

Cursed : Simeon questions Jacob after Simeon is cursed for killing the people of Shechem.

Dead Man Walking: Isaac confronts Abraham about why Abraham almost killed him.

Death By Fire: God questions Abraham about his plans for impending doom.

@Do I Have To?: Jacob confronts God about Jacob's sexual behavior.

Eve's Apple : Eve brings an apple back for Adam from the tree of knowledge of good an evil, but will he eat it?

Eve's Labyrinth: The Serpent convinces Eve to eat the forbidden fruit.

Failure to Escape: The serpent steals the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil in order to escape the garden.
Fall of Trust : Isaac confronts Abraham about the sacrifice up on the mountain.

Family Matters: Rachel asks the all powerful God for children.

Grapefruits Contain More Sugar than Apples: God chastises innocent Eve and banishes her from Eden, forcing her to trek to the Underworld.

@Hagar and Sarah; the Proposition - Sarah tells Hagar that she will have to have her child.

The Importance of Kumquats: God seeks the help of Adam to plot against Eve and all womankind, but he's forgotten a small detail: Who on earth is Eve?

Internal Lightning: Abimelech, a mighty king, believes he can change Jacob's devious manner, but then again, Jacob does exist as the ultimate trickster.

Irony of an Angel: A cocky angel decides to pick a fight with Jacob.

@It's a Long Story: Lot meets up with Adam in heaven, and the two debate who has had more troubles.

Joseph and Potiphar's Wife : Joseph and Potiphar's wife share a heated conversation that eventually leads to his arrest.

Judah Finds Out!: Judah finds out that Tamar his daughter-in-law is pregnant.

@Kicked out of Paradise: Eve challenges Adam not to fear God and to enjoy himself after the two of them have been expelled from the Garden of Eden.

Kill Me Already: Cain and Abel argue and fight, eventually causing one of them to die.

Knowledge Isn't Always Power: Eve makes the mistake of her life.

@Forbidden Fruit : God checks up on Eve to see if she has suffered since she was banished from Eden and finds that she is living a life of ease.

@Laban's Checklist : Laban and Rebekah have a confrontation over Laban's mistreatment of Jacob.

@Meeting at the Well : Jacob meets Rachel and attempts to convince her to fall in love with him.

Oh My God!: God asks Rebekah to marry Isaac

Onto the Ark: Adam attempts to survive the flood, making Noah resort to force on the ark.

Passive/Aggressive: The Snake tempts Adam with the Forbidden Fruit.

Pleas of Please : Joseph asks for God's help with his bullying issues.

Power Struggle : Noah uses Joseph to take over God.

@Punk'd : God tells Abraham to kill his son Isaac.

Reversals of Fortune: Wealthy Joseph meets his friend Adam, recently expelled from Eden. The two share their misfortunes and the conversation becomes hostile.

Running From Conclusions : Isaac misinterprets his father Abraham and runs away only to be met by the angel of the Lord.

@Sacrifices and Starbucks Runs : The exigent God asks for many requests from Abraham but his final demand puts the shepherd to the test: sacrificing Isaac

@Sacrifices of Desire: In order for Rachel to be able to conceive, God tells Rachel to kill Leah.

Say What?: God tells Lot that his city is doomed.

Should I Not? : Eve, with the help from the Serpent, tries to figure out if she should take the forbidden fruit.

[|Sinful Future?] : God's slightly unusual plan for Joseph

@Tamar's Plan : Judah thinks he's just having a night with a prostitute, but Tamar has other plans.

The Holy Race : Joseph pompously challenges God to a race, which results in Joseph pleading for mercy.

@The Ideal Wedding Reception : Abram and the Pharaoh argue about the marriage of the Pharaoh and Sarah during their wedding reception.

@The Gates Will Close : God casts Adam away from the Garden of Eden

The Pernicious Paternity : Abraham and Isaac make their way to Moriah for Isaac's sacrifice, but awkwardness along the way creates many obstacles for the both of

them.

@The Unbeatable Enemy Joseph bites off more than he can chew when he accepts a strange quest from God.

The Wrath of God : As a consequence of Adam and Eve's eating of the fruit from the tree of knowledge, God unleashes his anger upon Adam and Eve.

The 7000 Year Feud: Rachel and Leah bicker at one of their bimonthly teas.

Too Late To Apologize: Leah struggles with Jacob to receive the attention she longs for.

@Trick or Cheat? Jacob mischievously pranks Esau, who naively believes that Jacob is telling the truth.

Trickery of God: God does not act so kindly towards Abraham.

Violence and Dishonesty: Esau approaches Laban and tries to buy Jacob from him.

Wait... What did I Forget?! : Lot questions God on his salty decisions.

@Wait, you want what?: In order to make a women, God demands the rib of Adam.

What Happened In the Cave- Lots daughters plot to intoxicate him and trick him into impregnating his daughters in order to carry on the family name.

When You Can't Beat 'Em, Try to Make Excuses : Abraham tries to comfort his son, Isaac, in an awkward trip down from a near sacrifice experience.

Young Love: Rachel tries to convince her father to let her get married, but Laban is not so sure.